The First Cut is the Deepest

Police numbers, Housing Benefits, Unemployment benefits, Disability Allowance, Free School Meals, Child Trust Funds, Child Tax credits are all, it could be argued 'frontline services' but the cutting of the 'Building Schools for Future' Programme (despite the shoddy grammar) destroys any veneer that front-line services are going to escape the cuts. But lets be generous to Education Secretary Michael Gove and say this is the first time the coalition has cut frontline services, after all 'Micky' Gove has had a bad week. After misleading nearly 30 schools that they're building programmes would not be halted after handing in his report late, these schools were subsequently informed by the Government to 'See me after class' and informed of the halting of their BSF programmes.

Indeed the week just went from bad to worse after playground bully Tom Watson MP called Micky Gove a 'miserble pipsqeak' in class. Luckily good old Mr Bercow stepped in to prevent a fight breaking out. But still this wasn't Micky's week. In Maths class later Mr Gove was again embarrassed when he got his numbers in a twist. He found out that the plan to save 1 billion pound by scrapping the BSF plan wasn't nearly enough to add up for the £39 billion it is expected to cost the construction industry, let alone the £2 billion in compensation. Oh how he feared the public would react at the PTA meeting. Some even joked that Micky could be expelled from the Government but alas this was just playground 'tittle-tattle'. And with poor old Micky expected to explain his end of term results before the Parliamentary recess it looks like its back to the chalk board for Micky Gove.

And its not just young Master Gove having a problem with schools. So is his best chum Dave Cameron who is "terrified" by the prospect of his children having to rub shoulders with some of those innner-city urchins. Dear me, he must think its like Oliver Twist. But for the life of me I can't figure out why Dave and his chums just don't start up one of those free schools for their children. They could all learn about the fun parts of history like the withdrawing of free school milk, Section 28 or the Slave Trade. Oh it would be a riot of a class, we'd just need someone to keep an eye on any intra-class warfare.

Yes Dave and Mike do understand that there are some schools so shoddy that bird faeces are preventing leaks but you see all this money to repair these schools could just be used to make brand new 'free' schools. But, so sorry to interrupt Sir, how is a school 'free' when it's being funded by the taxpayer? No, no, no young child if we spent money on your existing schools where would all these pushy Middle Class parents put their children? In the inner cities? And really whats the point in rebuilding a comprehensive school thats already burnt to the ground?. All in all their just another brick in the wall.

By Dominic Turner